Episode 43: Understanding Verbal Abuse

Elements that make up Verbal Abuse in relationships

Verbal like physical abuse happens behind closed doors and the victim can feel isolated, confused and as if they somehow are to blame.

This episode uses Patricia Evans' insightful book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" as a reference and a resource.

Through understanding some of the patterns of toxic verbal abuse we can reclaim our right to healthy relating or keep an eye out for our friends and family members who may be in this type of terrible experience.

What are some key red flags to look for in relating between two people, and what happens when we are playing by different relationship rules that we weren't informed about?

Episode 42: Elements of Secure Relating

How do we know that we are in a relationship that is built on a foundation of secure relating?

What are some of the key aspects to help us navigate into the kind of healthy relationships we desire to have?

This episode explores some of the key elements that are consistent in relationships that have secure attachment at their core. Knowing this assists us in keeping relationships on track or side step finding ourselves stuck in avoidant/anxious relating with our partner for too long.

I hope you find this episode a helpful resource.

Episode 41: Rushing The Relationship

Missing out on true intimacy

Sometimes in order to deal with the uncertainty of future relationship history, we rush at the beginning. The rushing is designed to reduce anxiety about the relationship and the person we have just begun with.

Rushing, however, creates a fantasy and a false intensity which can mean that we miss out on true intimacy having a chance to develop.

Slowing down, setting boundaries on how much time is spent together and not racing to claim relationship status can be important steps to developing a lasting relational platform.

We need to stay out of fantasy and prematurely making up long-term nesting plans as it keeps us out of the present and really getting to know another as they are.

Episode 40: They Aren't Going To Change

Can we take the necessary steps of courage on our own behalf?

In this Episode we look at the desire we have for our partner to change and do something different. When are they going to be more loving, considerate and acknowledge how I feel?

Some people choose to hold onto a fantasy that their partner will change despite the everyday evidence that clearly shows nothing is different at all! Why hold onto a wishful desire that in time they will finally see the error of their ways and completely transform.

The likelihood of this is slim without engaging in some form of active, recovery, healing, self-development or recovery work. It can be painful to face reality but it is the gateway to a more wondrous, loving and fulfilling relationship experience.

Episode 39: Using your Relationship as a Crash Point

Bring your best self home

Modern life is so demanding and we can get pulled in so many directions. As a result, we can unintentionally put our intimate relationship on the back burner.

We give all day to others and then come home and crash onto the couch, disappear into social media and forget to connect with the one we love most.

If we continue to use our home and our relationship as a place to go to shut down then ultimately our relationship will be at risk. We lose the spark as we are only giving our best selves to our customers and the big wide world. All we have left consistently for our partners is the crumbs.

We need to make sure we bring our best selves home once in a while like we did when the relationship began if we want to keep the stability and erotic alive!

Episode 38: The Joy of Family Business

Key areas of challenge that family businesses face

If done well a family business can be a fantastic experience! We generally tend to spend more time with those we work with than anyone else. Why not spend it with those you love!

However there can be challenges and risks when we combine family dynamics with the stress and pressure of business. 

It is so important to take the family out of family business at certain times and stick with professional behaviour.

If we can do this we increase the chance of creating healthy, loving, thriving businesses and enjoying family at the same time.

Enjoy!

Episode 37: Sufficiency

What if you knew you were already enough as you were right now?

How would that inform your decisions about yourself and your business?

When we come from the myth of scarcity it can drive us to operate in ways that are selfish, short-sighted and problematic.

As someone who has been driven by the idea of not being good enough and not having enough for most of my life, it is truly exhausting. Scarcity has at times robbed me of true joy and creativity.

This episode begins to explore the idea of sufficiency, inspired by the likes of Philanthropist and futurist Buckminster "Bucky" Fuller and a couple of his students, Marshall Thurber and Lynne Twist.

The paradigms of business and life are generally moving towards more informed views and global inclusiveness. I am enough and so are you! Enjoy!

Episode 36: Part II More Resources on Modern Parenting

Keep the parent/child connection strong

Keeping our attachment bond strong with our children is central to the health of the parent/child relationship. Without healthy attachment, every aspect of parenting and guiding young people to developmental maturity becomes so much harder.

This Episode continues on form Episode 35 and heavily utilises the ideas put forward in the amazing book for parents "Hold on to your Kids" Why parents need to matter more than peers by Gordon Neufeld Ph.d and Gabor Mate Ph.d.

This episode looks at some of the approaches that can help keep connection strong in the face of so many other elements of modern culture competing for the attention of our children.

A valuable episode for any parent, I hope you enjoy!

Episode 35: More Resources on Modern Parenting

Understanding attachment bonds with children

Parenting is challenging, especially with all the external demands that you face that can take away from precious time with children. 

This episode explores and helps you develop a little more understanding around attachment bonds with children. It also addresses a style of parenting approach that will help to really support healthy attachment for children compared to what can take away from healthy attachment.

Any information and increased understanding on the behalf of parents when it comes to supporting the development of healthy, resilient children has got to be valuable not only to the child but the parent as well. When we feel that we understand what is presenting then we move with greater assuredness and confidence, thus adding to our parenting.

Episode 34: Household CEO

Sharing joint leadership of the family home

Modern relationships require new ways of thinking about old roles such as domestic responsibility, not to mention new approaches.

There are patterns that make healthy intimate relationships and healthy demonstrations to children. However overtly or covertly there exist dynamics that we can fall into that can erode long-term stability and erotic desire in intimate relationships.

Episode 34 is about sharing joint leadership and care of the family home, rather than always relying on one person in the partnership to inform the other of what needs to be done around the house.

Even if you are willing to help but rely on that to be directed by your partner this can still be a passion killer over time as one part of the partnership feels the sole burden of being responsible for the home.

This episode will assist in keeping health, stability and desire in your intimate relationship long term.

Episode 33: Boundaries Revisited

Healthy Vs Unhealthy Boundaries

Episode 33 once again looks at boundaries as they are just such a central component to people dynamics.

Depending on the family system, the family culture you grew up in, you can develop a very different idea around boundaries compared to your romantic partner or work colleagues.

This episode explores some of the central elements and points of consideration so as to add to your existing understanding of what is a healthy boundary compared to unhealthy.

Understanding in this critical area of human interaction can really propel us forward into quality fulfilling relationships in every area of life. I hope you find that this episode provokes some contemplation on what you may have been taught directly or indirectly about boundaries in the past.

Episode 32: Self-Awareness and Business Intelligence

The fundamentals of creating a successful business

Marty Vids is back on the program for this episode. I have heard of him being described as the Happy Entrepreneur which I think is very fitting! Apart from his integrity he has the results on the board having build three businesses from start up to a million dollars turn over a year after tax! Less than 3% of small business owners in Australia achieve that once let alone 3 times!

In this episode we cover a wide range of elements fundamental to creating a successful business, interacting with others, managing set backs and mastering adversity. Marty has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share around modern business, you will really enjoy and take away value form this episode!

Episode 31: Self-Awareness and Relationships

Improving your self-awareness improves your life

The one consistent element at the centre of all my relationships both successful and unsuccessful is me! One of the most dramatic ways to improve your life is to improve your self-awareness.

Episode 31 looks at a couple of key areas that can assist you in developing self-awareness so as to more effectively achieve goals, reduce recurring unpleasant dynamics with others and just enjoy life more.

We are with ourselves 24/7 so it makes absolute sense to know more about how we are presently putting the world together.

Episode 30: Toxic Behaviour at Work

Types of toxic behaviour that play out in workplaces

Dysfunctional behaviour in the workplace can have such a detrimental effect on the culture of a workplace, the sense of psychological safety of staff and ultimately the productivity of the business.

In Episode 30 we explore some of the types of toxic behaviour that play out in workplaces. Through having knowledge and being able to identify exactly what is going on we are able to employ effective remedies.

To be in an environment where bullying, belittling and criticism are the norm can be so deflating to a person and really affect quality of life!

Just because certain behaviours are common doesn't make them functional or in the best interest of the business and the individuals within the business.

Two resources drawn from for this Episode are: Running On Empty by Jonice Webb and Taming Toxic People by David Gillespie. Both books are great reads!

Episode 29: Communication Hierarchy and Business

Communicate effectively in a business hierarchy

Following on from the last few episodes that have looked at soft skills and their importance particularly in business, Episode 29 looks at what is needed to communicate effectively in a business hierarchy.

What is required to be more effective at communicating Up the business chain, lateral to yourself or to those whom you direct and lead? How do we make sure we are taking into consideration the scope of responsibility and motivational drivers of others especially when they are different to ours yet we work together?

This episode is useful for people who work in environments that have a formal hierarchy as well as those that have an informal hierarchy or more level based business structure.

These are principles that will help you stay relevant, be effective and get noticed!

Episode 28: Soft Skills and Emotional Literacy

Develop your emotional literacy skills in order to stay relevant in the workforce

Episode 28 continues to address soft skills in life and business. 

As business push more and more for the optimal point of effective goal achievement coupled with emotions harmony in the workplace. How do we continue to develop in this area, both as an individual and as a group/team?

This episode is also relevant to parents, especially when factoring in developmental maturity and not inadvertently setting children up to fail which later results in creating limiting beliefs in adults about their capacity to create and achieve!

I hope you find this episode gives you greater insight and food for thought around the power of emotions in business as well as insights into strategies for more effective management of this area.

Episode 27: Workplace Skills of the Future

How to stay ahead of the trends

This episode focuses on some of the elements that will be essential for ongoing success in business. These elements are equally valid whether you own the business or work in one.

This episode has been inspired by my experiences in many workplace cultures over many industries. It is also inspired by an article by Liz Burke on News.com.au entitled: Millennials vs Machine. Skills Young Australians Need To Compete With Automation.

Developing your soft skills so to speak such as enhancing communication skills and understanding the differences in people are relevant skills not just for those starting out but for anyone looking to remain practical and relevant in business going forward!

More and more companies are starting to look for and value soft skills, best to know how to stay ahead of the trends.

Episode 26: A Ramble on Motivation

What makes motivation easier to sustain?

Motivation for some can be about whipping oneself up into a frenzy of desire and activity. I have no issue with this as indeed for some people that is exactly what works!

However, for others, this can be difficult to sustain and that is what Episode 26 looks at. What elements of motivation are good to understand, and how do we operate in a way that supports our motivation and drives.

Self-care and effective strategies will make it easier for you to get motivated and maintain it as you move in the direction of the goals that you have set for yourself. 

Episode 25: The Art Of Feedback

Giving and receiving feedback is so vital for many areas in life

It is essentail for businesses to move forward, for individuals to continue to improve, and for relationships to stay healthy.

This episode looks at tips both for when you are looking to get feedback from others and also for when you are in the position of delivering feedback.

Depending on how we set things up when it is time to offer feedback can have a massive impact on how well and effective the whole process goes.

People who are looking to get better in any area of life are more likely than not going to have to seek out feedback. If we are passionate enough about where it is we are going then we can incorporate and even embrace feedback we need that may not be the feedback we want!

Episode 24: What Gets In The Way?

There are so many reasons that we don't get what we want.

This episode explores what some of those momentum blocking components are.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy so it is so valuable to know how it is that we can get in our own way. Understanding how we prevent our own success and how to identify these elements allows us to break through and get back on track.

I hope you enjoy this episode and that it helps you achieve your goals faster and helps you and others get "unstuck" faster!