Family

Episode 80: Getting My Kids to Listen to Me

How do I as a parent make it easier for my kids to hear me?

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Modern parenting is challenging and one of those challenges is getting the kids to listen to our sage words of parenting wisdom! The reality is we can't make anyone listen who doesn't want to but we may be able to maximise our chances of increased receptivity in our children.

This episode looks at some of the ways that parents get in their own way when trying to lovingly guide their children through the journey of life. One way to get our kids to listen to us more is we must first listen to them more!

Despite our wise words children still tend to respond both consciously and unconsciously to what we do rather than what we say.


Episode 78: Symptoms of How a Family Manages Grief

How can we process our loss in a healthy way?

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The loss of a dearly loved one is painful! These moments in life can have a very significant effect on individuals but also on the whole family system. A family can be pulled apart by their grief and unresolved conflicts resurface at this time or we can come together with greater compassion, love and closeness than ever before.

One way in which we can manage the experience is to over focus and over worry about others. It is important to be present to support and love those who are experiencing the loss with us but not as a distraction to being in our own process.

Reactivity is heightened at this time so we need to be extra mindful around bringing up challenging issues or addressing old wounds. How can we support others but stay present for ourselves and work out what we need to process our loss in a healthy way?

If approached effectively we can turn great pain into an opportunity to create even healthier closeness in our family.

Episode 77: Tips for Starting The Second Family

How to create the best new family dynamic we can

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The most rapidly growing relationship style is the remarried or step family relationship. Some individuals are not only on their second family but beginning the third.

It is important to know what can make this journey so much more challenging for not only the new couple but the children they bring into the new arrangement.

How can we best support the children, ourselves and our present partner going forward to create the best new family dynamic we can?

Through developing a better understanding of what awaits we can plan for how best to meet our challenges.

I really hope this episode informs you of what will need to be addressed. All the best!


Episode 75: Over Involved at Work and Under Involved at Home

How much time are we spending where?

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Do I consistently bring my best thinking and most positive self to the business, whilst family and home is where I go to shut down?

Nothing wrong with the home being a place to regenerate, but if all our family sees is our most shut down, preoccupied self it really leaves our relationships vulnerable long term.

It can be so easy to slip into these patterns as a relationship progresses, especially if our family model was something like, dad worked all the time and mum looked after the kids. When dad came home he wasn't to be disturbed and we came to expect very little contribution from him on the family front.

It is amazing to go after a great career or build a dynamic business but if it comes at the consistent neglect of those we claim to be doing it for or who supposedly mean the most to us then some rebalancing might be needed. If not we can lose it all.

Episode 60: Narcissist in the Family

How to deal with Narcissistic relatives

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It can be so challenging and confronting to have to deal continually with someone with Narcissistic wounding because they happen to be in our family! Each family system is different, however there are some steps to take to help with managing yourself through what can be an extremely challenging dynamic.

We need to understand the strategies employed by our particular narcissistic and which of those strategies we are most reactive to.

Our best opportunity is to not look to change the narcissist but rather to change our reactions in relation to dealing with them. I truly hope this episode helps you to form an approach to better achieve that.

I would also like to acknowledge the work of Relationship expert Jerry Wise whose ideas helped  contribute to this episode and Feedspot for nominating the Sean Healy "Tools" and Emergence Training as one of the top 15 podcast resources on the net in relation to Narcissism.

Episode 56: Two Key Pressures In Relationship

Reduce resentment, and build desire, passion and connection

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Long-term stable relationships are wonderful but they can also trigger old relationship patterns from our Family of Origin in how to manage anxiety and intimacy. Depending on what type of Family system we grew up in we may not have the most workable skill sets on board to make it work effectively long term.

This episode is inspired by the book, Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown who is a family system specialist. 

Through exploring these two potential points of stress covered in this episode that can emerge in the relationship we can reduce resentment and build the desire, passion and connection.

I hope you find value and insight in this episode that helps to support you having amazing relationship going forward!

Episode 45: Parenting Awareness

Honouring the authenticity of our child

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The parenting journey is so amazing and challenging at the same time and I can't think of a greater self-development course than embarking on the journey of raising a child!

This episode is designed to support parents and further champion children by inviting parents to examine their own childhood experiences. The more aware we are of the reality of what we experienced growing up the more conscious rather than reactive our parenting becomes.

We need to look with honesty and balance at what went on and how it may be biasing our parenting in a way that is not allowing us to honour the authenticity of our child.

It is hard to acknowledge our child's emotions if we didn't get much of that as a child. It is challenging to allow a child to be who they are if we grew up in a family with very strong ideas of expectation of who we should be to gain approval.

The more aware we are as parents of our drivers them more fulfilling, enriching and wonderous our relationships with our children can be!

Episode 38: The Joy of Family Business

Key areas of challenge that family businesses face

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If done well a family business can be a fantastic experience! We generally tend to spend more time with those we work with than anyone else. Why not spend it with those you love!

However there can be challenges and risks when we combine family dynamics with the stress and pressure of business. 

It is so important to take the family out of family business at certain times and stick with professional behaviour.

If we can do this we increase the chance of creating healthy, loving, thriving businesses and enjoying family at the same time.

Enjoy!

Episode 36: Part II More Resources on Modern Parenting

Keep the parent/child connection strong

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Keeping our attachment bond strong with our children is central to the health of the parent/child relationship. Without healthy attachment, every aspect of parenting and guiding young people to developmental maturity becomes so much harder.

This Episode continues on form Episode 35 and heavily utilises the ideas put forward in the amazing book for parents "Hold on to your Kids" Why parents need to matter more than peers by Gordon Neufeld Ph.d and Gabor Mate Ph.d.

This episode looks at some of the approaches that can help keep connection strong in the face of so many other elements of modern culture competing for the attention of our children.

A valuable episode for any parent, I hope you enjoy!

Episode 35: More Resources on Modern Parenting

Understanding attachment bonds with children

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Parenting is challenging, especially with all the external demands that you face that can take away from precious time with children. 

This episode explores and helps you develop a little more understanding around attachment bonds with children. It also addresses a style of parenting approach that will help to really support healthy attachment for children compared to what can take away from healthy attachment.

Any information and increased understanding on the behalf of parents when it comes to supporting the development of healthy, resilient children has got to be valuable not only to the child but the parent as well. When we feel that we understand what is presenting then we move with greater assuredness and confidence, thus adding to our parenting.

Episode 33: Boundaries Revisited

Healthy Vs Unhealthy Boundaries

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Episode 33 once again looks at boundaries as they are just such a central component to people dynamics.

Depending on the family system, the family culture you grew up in, you can develop a very different idea around boundaries compared to your romantic partner or work colleagues.

This episode explores some of the central elements and points of consideration so as to add to your existing understanding of what is a healthy boundary compared to unhealthy.

Understanding in this critical area of human interaction can really propel us forward into quality fulfilling relationships in every area of life. I hope you find that this episode provokes some contemplation on what you may have been taught directly or indirectly about boundaries in the past.

Episode 08: Introducing The Family System

The I of who we are emerges from an us - The family we grew up in.

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This episode explores how we are parts of a larger whole known as our family system and how we adapt to support that larger system sometimes at the expense of self.

If you have ever been left bewildered by something that has happened in your family or confused with certain dynamics that are playing out with others, in particular, loved ones and work colleagues then this episode could be for you.

We will explore some ideas around healthy and unhealthy family dynamics and how they could be getting in the way of your happiness, success and fulfilment.

Episode 8 draws on some of the astounding contributions from therapists and recovery specialists such as Virginia Satir, John Bradshaw, Pia Melody, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse and Claudia Black.

I hope you enjoy the episode!