Episode 78: Symptoms of How a Family Manages Grief

How can we process our loss in a healthy way?

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The loss of a dearly loved one is painful! These moments in life can have a very significant effect on individuals but also on the whole family system. A family can be pulled apart by their grief and unresolved conflicts resurface at this time or we can come together with greater compassion, love and closeness than ever before.

One way in which we can manage the experience is to over focus and over worry about others. It is important to be present to support and love those who are experiencing the loss with us but not as a distraction to being in our own process.

Reactivity is heightened at this time so we need to be extra mindful around bringing up challenging issues or addressing old wounds. How can we support others but stay present for ourselves and work out what we need to process our loss in a healthy way?

If approached effectively we can turn great pain into an opportunity to create even healthier closeness in our family.

Episode 77: Tips for Starting The Second Family

How to create the best new family dynamic we can

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The most rapidly growing relationship style is the remarried or step family relationship. Some individuals are not only on their second family but beginning the third.

It is important to know what can make this journey so much more challenging for not only the new couple but the children they bring into the new arrangement.

How can we best support the children, ourselves and our present partner going forward to create the best new family dynamic we can?

Through developing a better understanding of what awaits we can plan for how best to meet our challenges.

I really hope this episode informs you of what will need to be addressed. All the best!


Episode 76: Keeping Our Romantic Relationship Healthy

Keep the magic and desire alive

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Modern relationships are changing and under pressure like never before thanks to all the external demands of our everyday lives, career and social pressures.

The thinking and expectations for people have changed around relationships and it has never been easier than now to leave if it isn't working out.

This episode looks at some key elements for helping us to create stability in our relationships whilst also keeping alive the magic and desire. 

Relationships no matter how suitable require continued work and investment. It can become so easy in the face of all our modern life demands to push our romantic relationship to the back. Do this continually and we really begin to put ourselves on unsteady ground!

I hope this episode provides some important touch points to help support successful relating!

Episode 75: Over Involved at Work and Under Involved at Home

How much time are we spending where?

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Do I consistently bring my best thinking and most positive self to the business, whilst family and home is where I go to shut down?

Nothing wrong with the home being a place to regenerate, but if all our family sees is our most shut down, preoccupied self it really leaves our relationships vulnerable long term.

It can be so easy to slip into these patterns as a relationship progresses, especially if our family model was something like, dad worked all the time and mum looked after the kids. When dad came home he wasn't to be disturbed and we came to expect very little contribution from him on the family front.

It is amazing to go after a great career or build a dynamic business but if it comes at the consistent neglect of those we claim to be doing it for or who supposedly mean the most to us then some rebalancing might be needed. If not we can lose it all.

Episode 74: Enjoying Success Without The Guilt

Embracing our success

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Many of us learned a healthy work ethic from our family system. However, what many of us didn't learn was a healthy reward ethic!

Entrepreneurs, businesses owners and anyone working towards success and financial reward, may find that when they get there they are filled with guilt about taking advantage of what they have achieved.

What will my family think? What will my staff think?

Part of adult maturity is being able to see objectively both the strengths and weaknesses of the family system, tribe that we grew up in. Going forward we want to be the kind of people who can model healthy giving without draining ourselves and healthy receiving which isn't followed by a guilt, lack of deserving attack!

When we learn to functionally embrace our success and what comes with it, we give others permission to do the same.

I hope you find the episode helpful!

Episode 73: Recognising Power Plays

What kind of power dynamic am I in right now? 

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The ability to become aware of what type of power game others have got you in can be vital to avoid being exploited! 

Power With means that we are working to achieve our goals and desires but not at the expense of others. People playing Power Over however are doing things very differently and are counting on the fact that you won't recognise what they are doing.

Backhanded insults, withholding important information, consistent misunderstandings at your expense are all part of the game for those looking to only advance themselves. 

Learning not to buy into their clever justifications but rather look at the consistent trail of behaviour can really assist you in understanding exactly what you are up against and how to best respond.

Episode 72: Insights Into Gaslighting

Understanding the manipulative strategies of gaslighting

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Gaslighting, deliberately influencing another's perception of reality for advantage takes many forms.

This is a vast topic with many ways to keep someone in the dark, misinformed, defensive and off balance. Episode 72 looks at some of the strategies that are employed to exploit people. Through understanding and greater recognition, we aren't left as vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Some exploiters have greater elegance and facility than others and can use a number of these tactics together in order to create for themselves the impression they want to foster.

There are individuals who have no issue employing whatever tactics allow them to impression manage, take advantage, misdirect and avoid taking responsibility for poor behaviour.

I hope this episode helps to raise awareness.

Episode 71: Dealing With Covertly Aggressive People

How to understand and approach fundamentally aggressive people

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It is wonderful to see that in business we are moving more towards embracing emotional intelligence and that the psychological safety of people in the workplace is a key component to more profit.

However, with the move towards more feelings sensitivity, there may be some unexpected downsides. This type of environment could make it easier for covertly aggressive people to avoid detection and promote their win at all costs agendas!

There are individuals who employ any tactic available to keep themselves in a position of advantage over others. They do not have self-esteem issues, little self-doubt and little consideration for what others will think of their behaviour. The idea that people will keep away from conflict unless they absolutely have to doesn't apply here. This episode is inspired by some of the work that is emerging through such people as Dr George Simon author of In Sheep's Clothing, Dr David Schnarch author of Brain Talk and Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie.

A more expanded understanding and approach to fundamentally aggressive people is needed not only for the victim's but for the effective management of the different aggressive types too.

Episode 70: I Apologise For How I Apologise

How to apologise effectively

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Ever been on the receiving end of a hollow or what you felt was an insincere apology? There is a way to apologise effectively and then there are plenty of ways to deliver an apology that can lead to more disconnection and frustration.

The ability to deliver an apology that works can leave the receiver feeling acknowledged and validated. Who wouldn't want that?

This episode looks at what to do to deliver an apology that works and also what doesn't work. Genuine apologies lead to repair and this leads to us feeling safe in our relationships both in the workplace and at home!

Episode 69: Artful Vulnerability in Conversation

Promote deeper, richer connection between ourselves and others.

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Ever tried to have a conversation with someone where you thought you'd risk showing yourself only to find that you came away feeling frustrated and unacknowledged?

The ability to share effectively in conversation relies on both parties involved. There is the responsibility of the sender and the responsibility of the receiver. This episode looks at the message sender and what we can do to promote deeper, richer connection between ourselves and others.

What are some of the key elements to consider when we want to share with another, things that are important to us and also leave us feeling a little raw. How do we take conversational risks in genuine vulnerability whilst doing the best we can to maximise a good conversational result for both the sender and the receiver?

Having more tools and strategies around effective conversation is just so vital to the ongoing health of both our personal and professional relationships.

Episode 68: All or Nothing Under Stress

How to manage extreme responses & grow in confidence

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Human beings are prone to either over responding or under responding in moments of stress. What this can translate to is our intention to deal with an already stressful situation is actually made worse through our response.

Through self-reflection of the ways in which we can have extreme responses either to acute or chronic stress situations, we will be able to better support self. If we are able to stay in a more moderate space of responsiveness that is more realistic as a response, the solutions can more readily emerge.

Challenging situations will present, so how do we prepare ourselves for more resourceful responses that will allow us to grow in confidence? Through awareness of when we are responding in extremes, we increase our ability to self-correct and get more of what we want.

Episode 67: Art of Giving

Giving to others from a place of joy rather than resentment

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When we give to get this can often blow up on us and leave us feeling resentful!

What space am I giving from? In relationships be that with a friend, romantic partner or in business, there are times when I have engaged in giving purely because I had an agenda and expectation for myself.

I am going to keep score of what I have done for you and what you have done for me. I am ahead, so now you owe me! This type of approach and conditional giving can weaken relationships rather than strengthen them.

How do we give to others from a place of joy, non-attachment and never at the detriment of ourselves? How do I include myself in a loving way when it comes to giving to others?


Episode 66: Bouncing Back From Failure

Manage mistakes without losing confidence

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It is important to have a method in place to overcome or move through potential failures and short comings. How do we get up and going again after our beloved business vision fell flat or seems to be heading in that direction.

The most effective business people are those that have a way to manage mistakes without losing confidence, freezing up and grinding to a halt. 

Having a bounce back plan in place before you begin can really help you to take the risk and the steps of courage you need to take in order to put your value out into the world!

Episode 65: Dealing with Internal Put Downs

How to set boundaries against negative self talk

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We have become so skilled at denying our own inner lovingness, worth and value.

I can't remember where I heard this description about the Ego but I like it! Our Ego is our self loathing disguised as our self love! We have become masters at arguing very effectively with ourself about our own limitations. 

How do we set internal boundaries against seductive self talk that tries to convince us that we aren't enough!

Just because it feels real doesn't mean it is. I hope you find this episode assists you in staying connected to the magic of who you are!

Episode 64: Toxic Behaviour and Antisocial Empathy

How empathy can be used for exploitation and cruelty

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Trigger Warning! You may find the content of this Episode confronting to hear, so listener discretion advised.

Empathy is a survival skill. Having awareness of the feelings of others can be really helpful for keeping oneself alive. However, there is mostly a focus on prosocial empathy where I am aware of your feelings and respond to them in a sympathetic manner. Antisocial empathy is a different kettle of fish altogether.

If I am to deliberately exploit you then it stands to reason that I must be able to track to some degree the way you are thinking and feeling. The more empathy I have the greater my compassion can be or on the flip side my cruelty. 

I have always tended to assume the best in others and that has made me highly vulnerable at times to being exploited both personally and professionally. Dr David Schnarch explains antisocial empathy and some of what is now being discovered in the latest research in his amazing book Brain Talk. This episode is inspired by his work. 

Correction in Episode: Robert Titchener - American Psychologist coined the word Empathy in 1909.

When we can see the reality of an experience, even if it is hard to face, we can truly heal!

Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

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This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.


Episode 62: The Emotionally Mature Business

Key elements of an emotionally mature workplace

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It can be terrible to work in a dysfunctional business. A business can be like a family system. Some families are calmer, more productive and supportive than others. The same applies for businesses.

This episode explores some of the key elements that present when we find ourselves in an emotionally mature workplace. The more emotionally mature a work/business environment is, the more productive and profitable it is likely to be, with less problems to deal with.

Episode 61: Uncovering Covert Narcissism

Learn to identify covert narcissists and take back control

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Most people have some familiarity with more overt narcissistic behaviour. Covert narcissism however can be so much harder to spot and yet just as damaging to those on the receiving end.

Covert narcissism can slip under the radar and even though you feel something isn't right, it is a struggle to identify the toxic behaviour. This toxic behaviour can be so subtle and sophisticated.

Having further insight into what to look out for can really help you begin to take some level of control back in the dynamics and hold your space in a healthy way.

Dealing with any type of Narcissistic wound can be challenging, so education is a great resource.

Episode 60: Narcissist in the Family

How to deal with Narcissistic relatives

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It can be so challenging and confronting to have to deal continually with someone with Narcissistic wounding because they happen to be in our family! Each family system is different, however there are some steps to take to help with managing yourself through what can be an extremely challenging dynamic.

We need to understand the strategies employed by our particular narcissistic and which of those strategies we are most reactive to.

Our best opportunity is to not look to change the narcissist but rather to change our reactions in relation to dealing with them. I truly hope this episode helps you to form an approach to better achieve that.

I would also like to acknowledge the work of Relationship expert Jerry Wise whose ideas helped  contribute to this episode and Feedspot for nominating the Sean Healy "Tools" and Emergence Training as one of the top 15 podcast resources on the net in relation to Narcissism.

Episode 59: Understand How To Follow Before Trying To Lead

Why following is an essential business skill

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There is so much talk about developing the skills of good leadership out there. I feel that the skills of being a good follower are massively under valued as a way to advance your professional career.

One of the most consistent complaints I hear from Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and CEOs is that they can't get enough good people to help deliver and support on the business vision.

What are some of the qualities that make up an effective follower? What would be the benefits in developing those skills for myself further?

This episode explores the power of following and how vital to modern business these skills are.