Episode 69: Artful Vulnerability in Conversation

Promote deeper, richer connection between ourselves and others.

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Ever tried to have a conversation with someone where you thought you'd risk showing yourself only to find that you came away feeling frustrated and unacknowledged?

The ability to share effectively in conversation relies on both parties involved. There is the responsibility of the sender and the responsibility of the receiver. This episode looks at the message sender and what we can do to promote deeper, richer connection between ourselves and others.

What are some of the key elements to consider when we want to share with another, things that are important to us and also leave us feeling a little raw. How do we take conversational risks in genuine vulnerability whilst doing the best we can to maximise a good conversational result for both the sender and the receiver?

Having more tools and strategies around effective conversation is just so vital to the ongoing health of both our personal and professional relationships.

Episode 68: All or Nothing Under Stress

How to manage extreme responses & grow in confidence

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Human beings are prone to either over responding or under responding in moments of stress. What this can translate to is our intention to deal with an already stressful situation is actually made worse through our response.

Through self-reflection of the ways in which we can have extreme responses either to acute or chronic stress situations, we will be able to better support self. If we are able to stay in a more moderate space of responsiveness that is more realistic as a response, the solutions can more readily emerge.

Challenging situations will present, so how do we prepare ourselves for more resourceful responses that will allow us to grow in confidence? Through awareness of when we are responding in extremes, we increase our ability to self-correct and get more of what we want.

Episode 67: Art of Giving

Giving to others from a place of joy rather than resentment

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When we give to get this can often blow up on us and leave us feeling resentful!

What space am I giving from? In relationships be that with a friend, romantic partner or in business, there are times when I have engaged in giving purely because I had an agenda and expectation for myself.

I am going to keep score of what I have done for you and what you have done for me. I am ahead, so now you owe me! This type of approach and conditional giving can weaken relationships rather than strengthen them.

How do we give to others from a place of joy, non-attachment and never at the detriment of ourselves? How do I include myself in a loving way when it comes to giving to others?


Episode 66: Bouncing Back From Failure

Manage mistakes without losing confidence

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It is important to have a method in place to overcome or move through potential failures and short comings. How do we get up and going again after our beloved business vision fell flat or seems to be heading in that direction.

The most effective business people are those that have a way to manage mistakes without losing confidence, freezing up and grinding to a halt. 

Having a bounce back plan in place before you begin can really help you to take the risk and the steps of courage you need to take in order to put your value out into the world!

Episode 65: Dealing with Internal Put Downs

How to set boundaries against negative self talk

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We have become so skilled at denying our own inner lovingness, worth and value.

I can't remember where I heard this description about the Ego but I like it! Our Ego is our self loathing disguised as our self love! We have become masters at arguing very effectively with ourself about our own limitations. 

How do we set internal boundaries against seductive self talk that tries to convince us that we aren't enough!

Just because it feels real doesn't mean it is. I hope you find this episode assists you in staying connected to the magic of who you are!

Episode 64: Toxic Behaviour and Antisocial Empathy

How empathy can be used for exploitation and cruelty

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Trigger Warning! You may find the content of this Episode confronting to hear, so listener discretion advised.

Empathy is a survival skill. Having awareness of the feelings of others can be really helpful for keeping oneself alive. However, there is mostly a focus on prosocial empathy where I am aware of your feelings and respond to them in a sympathetic manner. Antisocial empathy is a different kettle of fish altogether.

If I am to deliberately exploit you then it stands to reason that I must be able to track to some degree the way you are thinking and feeling. The more empathy I have the greater my compassion can be or on the flip side my cruelty. 

I have always tended to assume the best in others and that has made me highly vulnerable at times to being exploited both personally and professionally. Dr David Schnarch explains antisocial empathy and some of what is now being discovered in the latest research in his amazing book Brain Talk. This episode is inspired by his work. 

Correction in Episode: Robert Titchener - American Psychologist coined the word Empathy in 1909.

When we can see the reality of an experience, even if it is hard to face, we can truly heal!

Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

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This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.


Episode 62: The Emotionally Mature Business

Key elements of an emotionally mature workplace

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It can be terrible to work in a dysfunctional business. A business can be like a family system. Some families are calmer, more productive and supportive than others. The same applies for businesses.

This episode explores some of the key elements that present when we find ourselves in an emotionally mature workplace. The more emotionally mature a work/business environment is, the more productive and profitable it is likely to be, with less problems to deal with.

Episode 61: Uncovering Covert Narcissism

Learn to identify covert narcissists and take back control

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Most people have some familiarity with more overt narcissistic behaviour. Covert narcissism however can be so much harder to spot and yet just as damaging to those on the receiving end.

Covert narcissism can slip under the radar and even though you feel something isn't right, it is a struggle to identify the toxic behaviour. This toxic behaviour can be so subtle and sophisticated.

Having further insight into what to look out for can really help you begin to take some level of control back in the dynamics and hold your space in a healthy way.

Dealing with any type of Narcissistic wound can be challenging, so education is a great resource.

Episode 60: Narcissist in the Family

How to deal with Narcissistic relatives

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It can be so challenging and confronting to have to deal continually with someone with Narcissistic wounding because they happen to be in our family! Each family system is different, however there are some steps to take to help with managing yourself through what can be an extremely challenging dynamic.

We need to understand the strategies employed by our particular narcissistic and which of those strategies we are most reactive to.

Our best opportunity is to not look to change the narcissist but rather to change our reactions in relation to dealing with them. I truly hope this episode helps you to form an approach to better achieve that.

I would also like to acknowledge the work of Relationship expert Jerry Wise whose ideas helped  contribute to this episode and Feedspot for nominating the Sean Healy "Tools" and Emergence Training as one of the top 15 podcast resources on the net in relation to Narcissism.

Episode 59: Understand How To Follow Before Trying To Lead

Why following is an essential business skill

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There is so much talk about developing the skills of good leadership out there. I feel that the skills of being a good follower are massively under valued as a way to advance your professional career.

One of the most consistent complaints I hear from Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and CEOs is that they can't get enough good people to help deliver and support on the business vision.

What are some of the qualities that make up an effective follower? What would be the benefits in developing those skills for myself further?

This episode explores the power of following and how vital to modern business these skills are.

Episode 58: Emotionally Reacting to Others

Managing our less than desirable emotional responses

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We all have people in our lives that evoke strong responses in us. There are those people who we love to be around and come away from an exchange with them feeling uplifted and inspired.

However there are also individuals that the moment we get around them we feel reactive negative emotions starting to arise. Perhaps it's their ideas, the way they speak and behave when dealing with others or just their very presence puts us on eggshells.

Episode 58 looks at some focuses for managing those less than desirable responses we may have when dealing with certain people be it in the workplace or in the home. How do we manage ourselves rather than look to manage others in order to produce better connections and more productive relationships going forward? This episode explores some of those ways.

Episode 57: Are You Enough?

Embracing yourself just how you are

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When going after our success it is important to know what may be driving and motivating our actions. Limiting beliefs can mean that we build our accomplishments on very shaky ground.

We live in a culture and have experienced family systems that haven't always been able to connect us to our own innate value. If we are driven from a place of feeling we are not enough, our actions are likely to look a lot different from when we are coming from a space of completeness already!

This episode explores the idea that we are enough just as we are and how do we begin to embrace that even more deeply.

Episode 56: Two Key Pressures In Relationship

Reduce resentment, and build desire, passion and connection

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Long-term stable relationships are wonderful but they can also trigger old relationship patterns from our Family of Origin in how to manage anxiety and intimacy. Depending on what type of Family system we grew up in we may not have the most workable skill sets on board to make it work effectively long term.

This episode is inspired by the book, Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown who is a family system specialist. 

Through exploring these two potential points of stress covered in this episode that can emerge in the relationship we can reduce resentment and build the desire, passion and connection.

I hope you find value and insight in this episode that helps to support you having amazing relationship going forward!

Episode 55: Red Flags For Possible Narcs and Abusers

Early warning signs to look out for

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It can be so valuable to be able to spot potential trouble early on in the form of a Narcissist, Social Psychopath or someone with control issues. These dynamics don't often emerge until they have us hooked in but there are certain early warning signs to look out for.

I personally have had challenges with such people both in my personal and professional life. I would have loved to have known more about some of these dynamics earlier in my life!

I hope this episode is interesting and helpful for you!

Episode 54: The How or When of Self Love

The power of asking ‘when’ questions

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Sometimes we ask how to questions when there could be better questions to ask.

When questions can be very powerful and create for us an opportunity to approach a block or goal in a different way.

"How do I learn to love myself more?" A powerful question however different to: "When will I love myself more?" Sometimes asking when will we change is very different to how can we change.

This episode explores why that is the case. Asking when questions can open up whole new  experiences for us in our lives!

Episode 53: Working With Narcs

How to respond to narcissistic behaviour in the workplace

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Working with Narcissists can be a bewildering and painful experience. Narcissism is a spectrum and dealing with those that demonstrate consistent adaptive disfunction can really make your work life extremely challenging.

Through understanding a little more about Narcs (Narcissists) and what patterns they often display allows you to form a strategy to respond rather than react. Often not getting hooked into their game, managing your own emotional responses to them and having a sense of humour become really powerful!

Episode 53 offers insights into what to look for and how to best respond when confronted with extreme narcissistic behaviour in the workplace.

Episode 52: Building Self Trust

How to develop informed self trust

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Many people think that when they feel they can trust self then they will take a risk. Unfortunately, informed self-trust and self-confidence come from risking first.

True trust comes from knowing that whether it works out in the moment or it doesn't, you can handle it! Once we know that we can manage ourselves through life's challenges then we deepen in self-trust and self-belief. However, this only arises by taking the steps first.

Episode 51: Emotional Fusing In Relationship

Is it Love or just Emotional Fusing that you are experiencing in your relationship?

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When we grow up in family systems that didn't foster and support our right to individuality, we learn that love involves unhealthy fusing. (Eg: When mum was unhappy, everyone was unhappy!)

This episode draws from the wonderful work of Dr David Schnarch and in particular his book Passionate Marriage.

The episode goes through some elements of unhealthy emotional fusing dynamics and how it leads to couples feeling alienated from one another.

This episode is designed to point out some of the exchanges to avoid so that we are able to have a truly wonderful and meaningful connection in our relationships, taking our relational experience to a whole other level!

Episode 50: Fostering Intimacy

How intimacy transforms relationships

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With so many relationships not going the distance and people in relationship wishing for a more intimate connection with their partner, what is missing?

Many people express a desire to be more intimate and then find that they are unable to sit in the vulnerability that arises as a result. Instead of challenging our partners to be closer, the paradox is we need to examine and understand what it takes for us to be closer.

This episode looks at some of the differences in Self Validated Intimacy vs Other Validated Intimacy and what are the consequences in relationship when we adopt either pathway to attempt to bridge the gap between self and another.

When we can really begin to know who we are, validate that and not be reliant on solely the positive reflection of our partner to feel good about self, relationships can transform!