Episode 160: Right For The Argument and Wrong For The Relationship

How to have healthy, relationship affirming disagreements

Sometimes we can get so focused on being right in an argument and snowing someone else with the undeniability of our rational position that we forget to be mindful of their experience.

If you have ever had the experience of being intellectually trampled so to speak by someone in a conflict or negotiation situation and how that left you feeling, you will know what I mean. How willing are you to want to engage again with that person if another situation of challenge arises?

The really good negotiators and conflict specialists focus not only on the challenge at present but also on affirming the relationships between parties so that we will be willing to fight again on another day.

Disagreement isn't unhealthy and can even promote deeper understanding, intimacy and effective solutions. How we disagree and how we leave each other feeling can mean I win now but lose later. This can be especially true if as a result of confrontation with me, you refuse to want to engage again or hold back on crucial information going forward because I am now perceived as too unpleasant to deal with.

This episode looks at some of these aspects and being mindful of relationships.

Episode 158: Paying The Price For What You Want

Choosing our sacrifices wisely

Part of going after a meaningful goal is the things I am willing to give up in order to prioritise my goal. In the course of my career, I have had the privilege to have taught and worked with many successful people who have had to make certain sacrifices to get where they want to go. The effort becomes part of the reward if we have chosen what we will pursue wisely.

It can be very challenging to fix your time, effort and resources on achieving something and when you get there, it doesn’t provide you with the personal payoff or payoffs you thought. I have personally achieved a number of things in my life that didn't actually provide for me all that I thought they would or the joy of achievement was short-lived.

Time is of the essence and when goal setting we need to examine the drivers behind the goal.

What will I choose to let go of in order to prioritise the selected goal and what structures need to be in place to achieve the goal?

This episode explores some of these questions so that we can use the precious time we have available as effectively as possible.

Episode 131: Avoiding Success Traps

How do we get in our own way of staying at the top?

It is one thing to get to the top of your chosen profession and a whole other ball game to stay there.

The majority of individuals who reach their chosen idea of success might make it, but very few actually sustain that level.

This episode looks at some of the pitfalls that can get in the way of staying at the top. How do we get in our own way? What can we do to ensure that what we have built is sustained?

Episode 130: Developing Your Specific Success Fundamentals

The fundamentals of doing well in life

With every idea of success, you can generally find individuals who have employed different strategies to get to the same place. The great thing about books and the internet is they provide us with so much information and so many ways to get where you want to go. The downside of having the internet and thousands of books on success is that they provide us with so many ways to get where we want to go.

This episode looks at some of the fundamentals that seem to appear more often than not in how people do well at life. For example: More often than not people have had a mentor or mentors along the way. More often than not people have gotten further in life by having the right people around them personally and professionally.

This episode explores some of these elements and offers some areas of focus to help you achieve your goals in a best-fit way for you.

Episode 118: What To Do With Boundary Violations - Part II

Dealing with boundary violations in business relationships

This particular expands on episode 117 by looking at boundary violations in the business setting. Depending on where you sit in the hierarchy of the business you are in will mean a potentially different approach to poor behaviour. The higher up you are the more power you have to demand what is allowable treatment for you and to police that.

This episode deals with some of the elements you need to take into account when you aren't so high up the food chain. What can we do when we perceive we don't have as much power as we would like? How do we really get to a clarity of thinking and responding that will optimise success and reduce adverse expose?

Boundaries, boundary setting and boundary maintenance is a growing field of understanding. I hope this episode helps.

Episode 81: How the Talented View Feedback

How can I use feedback to better enrich my life?

Those that excel in their chosen field of endeavour have a very different relationship and idea of feedback than the rest of us. Feedback and peer review is an opportunity for advancement. It is an essential tool for improving in life, love and business.

How can we get better at utilising feedback to advance?

This episode looks at what the successful tend to do regarding feedback and getting the most out of it for themselves.

When we are truly open to enquiry about our present methods and approaches to life we increase our ability to reduce problems and maximise opportunities.

How do I become the kind of person who can really hear others rather than letting my own defences and attachments get in the way?

Episode 75: Over Involved at Work and Under Involved at Home

How much time are we spending where?

Do I consistently bring my best thinking and most positive self to the business, whilst family and home is where I go to shut down?

Nothing wrong with the home being a place to regenerate, but if all our family sees is our most shut down, preoccupied self it really leaves our relationships vulnerable long term.

It can be so easy to slip into these patterns as a relationship progresses, especially if our family model was something like, dad worked all the time and mum looked after the kids. When dad came home he wasn't to be disturbed and we came to expect very little contribution from him on the family front.

It is amazing to go after a great career or build a dynamic business but if it comes at the consistent neglect of those we claim to be doing it for or who supposedly mean the most to us then some rebalancing might be needed. If not we can lose it all.

Episode 62: The Emotionally Mature Business

Key elements of an emotionally mature workplace

It can be terrible to work in a dysfunctional business. A business can be like a family system. Some families are calmer, more productive and supportive than others. The same applies for businesses.

This episode explores some of the key elements that present when we find ourselves in an emotionally mature workplace. The more emotionally mature a work/business environment is, the more productive and profitable it is likely to be, with less problems to deal with.

Episode 59: Understand How To Follow Before Trying To Lead

Why following is an essential business skill

There is so much talk about developing the skills of good leadership out there. I feel that the skills of being a good follower are massively under valued as a way to advance your professional career.

One of the most consistent complaints I hear from Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and CEOs is that they can't get enough good people to help deliver and support on the business vision.

What are some of the qualities that make up an effective follower? What would be the benefits in developing those skills for myself further?

This episode explores the power of following and how vital to modern business these skills are.

Episode 53: Working With Narcs

How to respond to narcissistic behaviour in the workplace

Working with Narcissists can be a bewildering and painful experience. Narcissism is a spectrum and dealing with those that demonstrate consistent adaptive disfunction can really make your work life extremely challenging.

Through understanding a little more about Narcs (Narcissists) and what patterns they often display allows you to form a strategy to respond rather than react. Often not getting hooked into their game, managing your own emotional responses to them and having a sense of humour become really powerful!

Episode 53 offers insights into what to look for and how to best respond when confronted with extreme narcissistic behaviour in the workplace.

Episode 38: The Joy of Family Business

Key areas of challenge that family businesses face

If done well a family business can be a fantastic experience! We generally tend to spend more time with those we work with than anyone else. Why not spend it with those you love!

However there can be challenges and risks when we combine family dynamics with the stress and pressure of business. 

It is so important to take the family out of family business at certain times and stick with professional behaviour.

If we can do this we increase the chance of creating healthy, loving, thriving businesses and enjoying family at the same time.

Enjoy!

Episode 32: Self-Awareness and Business Intelligence

The fundamentals of creating a successful business

Marty Vids is back on the program for this episode. I have heard of him being described as the Happy Entrepreneur which I think is very fitting! Apart from his integrity he has the results on the board having build three businesses from start up to a million dollars turn over a year after tax! Less than 3% of small business owners in Australia achieve that once let alone 3 times!

In this episode we cover a wide range of elements fundamental to creating a successful business, interacting with others, managing set backs and mastering adversity. Marty has a wealth of knowledge and insight to share around modern business, you will really enjoy and take away value form this episode!

Episode 30: Toxic Behaviour at Work

Types of toxic behaviour that play out in workplaces

Dysfunctional behaviour in the workplace can have such a detrimental effect on the culture of a workplace, the sense of psychological safety of staff and ultimately the productivity of the business.

In Episode 30 we explore some of the types of toxic behaviour that play out in workplaces. Through having knowledge and being able to identify exactly what is going on we are able to employ effective remedies.

To be in an environment where bullying, belittling and criticism are the norm can be so deflating to a person and really affect quality of life!

Just because certain behaviours are common doesn't make them functional or in the best interest of the business and the individuals within the business.

Two resources drawn from for this Episode are: Running On Empty by Jonice Webb and Taming Toxic People by David Gillespie. Both books are great reads!

Episode 29: Communication Hierarchy and Business

Communicate effectively in a business hierarchy

Following on from the last few episodes that have looked at soft skills and their importance particularly in business, Episode 29 looks at what is needed to communicate effectively in a business hierarchy.

What is required to be more effective at communicating Up the business chain, lateral to yourself or to those whom you direct and lead? How do we make sure we are taking into consideration the scope of responsibility and motivational drivers of others especially when they are different to ours yet we work together?

This episode is useful for people who work in environments that have a formal hierarchy as well as those that have an informal hierarchy or more level based business structure.

These are principles that will help you stay relevant, be effective and get noticed!

Episode 27: Workplace Skills of the Future

How to stay ahead of the trends

This episode focuses on some of the elements that will be essential for ongoing success in business. These elements are equally valid whether you own the business or work in one.

This episode has been inspired by my experiences in many workplace cultures over many industries. It is also inspired by an article by Liz Burke on News.com.au entitled: Millennials vs Machine. Skills Young Australians Need To Compete With Automation.

Developing your soft skills so to speak such as enhancing communication skills and understanding the differences in people are relevant skills not just for those starting out but for anyone looking to remain practical and relevant in business going forward!

More and more companies are starting to look for and value soft skills, best to know how to stay ahead of the trends.

Episode 25: The Art Of Feedback

Giving and receiving feedback is so vital for many areas in life

It is essentail for businesses to move forward, for individuals to continue to improve, and for relationships to stay healthy.

This episode looks at tips both for when you are looking to get feedback from others and also for when you are in the position of delivering feedback.

Depending on how we set things up when it is time to offer feedback can have a massive impact on how well and effective the whole process goes.

People who are looking to get better in any area of life are more likely than not going to have to seek out feedback. If we are passionate enough about where it is we are going then we can incorporate and even embrace feedback we need that may not be the feedback we want!

Episode 23: Tips For Business - Start Ups To Millions

Featuring special guest Marty Vids

Martin Vidakovic (aka: Marty Vids) is an amazing and highly successful entrepreneur. Marty also has the Marty Vids show, a podcast that interviews remarkable people in order to uncover the secrets of their success.

As far as Marty's business success it more than speaks for itself as he has built three businesses from Start up to a million dollars profit after tax per year. This is an accomplishment achieved by less than 3% of small businesses in Australia. 

An amazing guy with a profound personal story and great practical advice for anyone serious about building their business.

Marty can be found at www.martyvids.com.au or The Marty Vids show on iTunes .

I really appreciate Marty taking the time to share his business wisdom with us.

Episode 20: The Here to There of Goal Setting

Elements of successful goal setting

Episode 20 looks at some key elements that can support in delivering on our dreams.

This Episode is based around the Present to Desired State Model form the field of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). NLP is the study of the patterns of excellence in highly successful individuals, the coding of those patterns in a way that makes it easy for the rest of us to utilise those patterns of effectiveness in our lives.

There appears to be a number of skill sets that successful individuals utilise regardless of what their field of endeavour or passion is and goal setting is certainly one that presents consistently. 

This episode is designed to aid the experienced and the novice with elements of effective goal setting. This method can be added to your already successful approach or utilised as a stand alone.

This framework is designed to add to your skill sets whilst still leaving room for you to embrace your own uniqueness in going about the process of achieving your goals.

I hope you find this to be of real practical value. Enjoy!

Episode 13: Avoiding Burnout

Many people are headed for burnout and aren't even aware that they are.

Life, business and relationships can be so demanding! Our demanding lifestyles can pull us in all sorts of directions and we can be driven by guilt, obligation and pressure to deliver.

This episode of Tools explores ways to focus on finding an optimal life tempo rather than being trapped in chronic business without actually returning any greater productivity.

 What if by taking a slight step back we actually became more productive, more profitable and we could begin to enjoy our success rather than it become a trap. This Episode looks at how that can and is possible!

Episode 11: Face Works - Taking your Facebook Friends from 400 to 4000

Taking your Facebook Friends from 400 to 4000.

This Episode explains the method and principles I employed to build my Facebook friends network to over 4000 in a short space of time. I love to share tools and strategies that help people get the best return for the amount of time they have invested into their goals.

I discuss how I used a combination of ideas from Seth Godin, author of such books as Purple Cow - Transform your Business by Being Remarkable, and What to do When it's your Turn (and it's always your turn), with the work of Robert Cialdini, the author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. I combined Seth's ideas with two of Cialdini's Unconscious Influence Patterns to produce a rapid growth in my network. 

The more we can grow our network with methods and tools that work the greater our opportunities, possibilities, profitability and connection. I hope you find it helpful.