Love

Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

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This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.


Episode 56: Two Key Pressures In Relationship

Reduce resentment, and build desire, passion and connection

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Long-term stable relationships are wonderful but they can also trigger old relationship patterns from our Family of Origin in how to manage anxiety and intimacy. Depending on what type of Family system we grew up in we may not have the most workable skill sets on board to make it work effectively long term.

This episode is inspired by the book, Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown who is a family system specialist. 

Through exploring these two potential points of stress covered in this episode that can emerge in the relationship we can reduce resentment and build the desire, passion and connection.

I hope you find value and insight in this episode that helps to support you having amazing relationship going forward!

Episode 51: Emotional Fusing In Relationship

Is it Love or just Emotional Fusing that you are experiencing in your relationship?

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When we grow up in family systems that didn't foster and support our right to individuality, we learn that love involves unhealthy fusing. (Eg: When mum was unhappy, everyone was unhappy!)

This episode draws from the wonderful work of Dr David Schnarch and in particular his book Passionate Marriage.

The episode goes through some elements of unhealthy emotional fusing dynamics and how it leads to couples feeling alienated from one another.

This episode is designed to point out some of the exchanges to avoid so that we are able to have a truly wonderful and meaningful connection in our relationships, taking our relational experience to a whole other level!

Episode 43: Understanding Verbal Abuse

Elements that make up Verbal Abuse in relationships

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Verbal like physical abuse happens behind closed doors and the victim can feel isolated, confused and as if they somehow are to blame.

This episode uses Patricia Evans' insightful book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" as a reference and a resource.

Through understanding some of the patterns of toxic verbal abuse we can reclaim our right to healthy relating or keep an eye out for our friends and family members who may be in this type of terrible experience.

What are some key red flags to look for in relating between two people, and what happens when we are playing by different relationship rules that we weren't informed about?

Episode 41: Rushing The Relationship

Missing out on true intimacy

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Sometimes in order to deal with the uncertainty of future relationship history, we rush at the beginning. The rushing is designed to reduce anxiety about the relationship and the person we have just begun with.

Rushing, however, creates a fantasy and a false intensity which can mean that we miss out on true intimacy having a chance to develop.

Slowing down, setting boundaries on how much time is spent together and not racing to claim relationship status can be important steps to developing a lasting relational platform.

We need to stay out of fantasy and prematurely making up long-term nesting plans as it keeps us out of the present and really getting to know another as they are.

Episode 40: They Aren't Going To Change

Can we take the necessary steps of courage on our own behalf?

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In this Episode we look at the desire we have for our partner to change and do something different. When are they going to be more loving, considerate and acknowledge how I feel?

Some people choose to hold onto a fantasy that their partner will change despite the everyday evidence that clearly shows nothing is different at all! Why hold onto a wishful desire that in time they will finally see the error of their ways and completely transform.

The likelihood of this is slim without engaging in some form of active, recovery, healing, self-development or recovery work. It can be painful to face reality but it is the gateway to a more wondrous, loving and fulfilling relationship experience.

Episode 39: Using your Relationship as a Crash Point

Bring your best self home

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Modern life is so demanding and we can get pulled in so many directions. As a result, we can unintentionally put our intimate relationship on the back burner.

We give all day to others and then come home and crash onto the couch, disappear into social media and forget to connect with the one we love most.

If we continue to use our home and our relationship as a place to go to shut down then ultimately our relationship will be at risk. We lose the spark as we are only giving our best selves to our customers and the big wide world. All we have left consistently for our partners is the crumbs.

We need to make sure we bring our best selves home once in a while like we did when the relationship began if we want to keep the stability and erotic alive!