Episode 152: Seeing Both Sides of Relationship Patterns - Part III

The unforeseen consequences of emotional cutoff

This episode focuses on an aspect of relating patterns known as Emotional Cutoff. When we choose or feel forced to cut someone out of our lives. There are times to go low or no contact of course, and with certain more low conscious types, it’s probably important.

However, when we cut someone out of our lives or refuse any contact it might reduce the immediate sense of anxiousness but add to long term friction. We may not talk to someone for months and then reunite without addressing the original issue, or we may geographically distance but still find that we mentally obsess over the person even though we don't see or speak with them directly.

This episode explores a number of elements and potential consequences of emotional cutoff.

Episode 137: Dealing With An Emotionally Overwhelming Family

Managing emotional overreacting learnt from our families

Families can be intense and sometimes overreact emotionally to certain situations that present themselves. When we grow up in emotionally intense families we can experience family members becoming highly anxious about our life choices.

Emotional outbursts, uninvited advice-giving, ridicule and talking behind other family members backs about them can end up being the order of the day. 

The emotional education we directly or indirectly received in our childhoods can have a huge influence on our present-day adult relationships and even affect our professional environments.

This episode looks at some of the tools we may need to help us have more fulfilling adult relationships and manage emotional overreacting in ourselves and others more effectively.

Episode 136: Family Roles & Family Anxiety

How family roles affect our personal & professional lives

Our family system has its own way of dealing with issues of intimacy and anxiety. One of the ways in which we find our place in our family system is to take on roles.

These roles have unhealthy and healthy expressions. They can serve to keep the family enmeshed and family anxiety suppressed.  The more challenged or dysfunctional the family, the more fixed the roles can get. Someone in the family may get cast as the troubled, messed up one whilst a sibling becomes the golden child. 

These roles, although they feel quite comfortable at times, can interfere with our ability to truly be ourselves around our family. In turn, what we learn in our family of origin we then can play out in our intimate adult relationships and professional lives.

Episode 120: Healing From A Toxic Childhood

Effectively addressing the effects of childhood trauma

If you grew up in an unhealthy family system of one form or another then you need to adapt and mould to try to survive your childhood. Some of those adaptations can end up being assets later however some get in the way of living a fulfilling and successful life as an adult.

This episode looks at some of the potential areas a person may need to focus on in order to heal and have peace of mind. We can face challenges in feeling safe in intimate relationships or even just with people in general. Trauma triggers to manage as we overreact to experiences that others take for granted. We can develop a painful relationship with pleasure and seek to avoid or sabotage experiences that could bring us joy. This amongst other elements needs to be understood so that they can be effectively addressed.

I hope you find this episode helpful!

Episode 108: Recovery From Toxic Family Systems - Part II

How the inherited inner critic impacts recovery

Recovery from having grown up in a very challenging family system can mean that you need to take several avenues to healing. If we have wounding that affects our relationships as adults, our ability to feel safe and also the level of effectiveness in problem-solving, then there can appear to be a lot to do.

This episode looks again at dealing effectively with the inner critic and how it can impact recovery. The inner critic can affect our self-compassion, self-regard, and our ability to effectively self protect.

The more we are aware of how the inner critic continues the legacy of family disfunction and learn methods for challenging, quietening and integrating the more successful our recovery journey.

Episode 107: Recovery From Toxic Family Systems - Part I

Addressing areas of family wounding to achieve healthy adult relationships

Our early family experiences fundamentally influence the kind of relationship quality we have as adults. What did we experience growing up, and what types of strategies and coping methods did we take on to get through?

This episode looks at some of the areas of wounding that can need addressing in order to have better, more genuine and intimate adult relationships. One of the reference sources for this episode is the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker.

The recovery journey for some can be long and anything that can help add to our self-education so that we can reclaim ourselves is valuable. This is a vast topic, hence visiting with it in parts. I hope you find this helpful.