Episode 162: The Importance Of Emotional Attunement In Relationships

How presence & awareness creates healthy relationships

There are a number of factors that would appear to boost the chances of having a relationship that continues to be healthy and successful over time. One such element is the degree to which you continue to be aware of your partner's emotional experience. The longer we stay together the more likely that we will both change, grow and develop whether we intend to or not. The person you started in relationship with may not be exactly who you experience today.

It is vital that we continue to invest interest and time into our partner. The more awareness and presence we can bring means we can avoid stumbling into relational blowups and being baffled as to "how did we get here?"

Emotional attunement also allows us to put the brakes on when the challenging discussion is escalating into real damage to the relationship territory. It allows us to see when our partner is beginning their repair attempts and wanting to move back into relational harmony. It allows us to continue to be present for the moments of true love and intimacy.

Episode 160: Right For The Argument and Wrong For The Relationship

How to have healthy, relationship affirming disagreements

Sometimes we can get so focused on being right in an argument and snowing someone else with the undeniability of our rational position that we forget to be mindful of their experience.

If you have ever had the experience of being intellectually trampled so to speak by someone in a conflict or negotiation situation and how that left you feeling, you will know what I mean. How willing are you to want to engage again with that person if another situation of challenge arises?

The really good negotiators and conflict specialists focus not only on the challenge at present but also on affirming the relationships between parties so that we will be willing to fight again on another day.

Disagreement isn't unhealthy and can even promote deeper understanding, intimacy and effective solutions. How we disagree and how we leave each other feeling can mean I win now but lose later. This can be especially true if as a result of confrontation with me, you refuse to want to engage again or hold back on crucial information going forward because I am now perceived as too unpleasant to deal with.

This episode looks at some of these aspects and being mindful of relationships.

Episode 154: Tough Conversations To Preserve Our Relationship

Embracing challenging topics for better relationship health

If we are serious about having long term healthy relationships then we need to be able to have potentially challenging conversations. Even the most successful relationships are faced from time to time with anxiety, stress and temptation. Life has a way of sometimes making our best-laid plans and ideas look trivial.

As a couple, can we commit to being willing to work on our fight form? How as a couple do we improve bringing up the topics that are tough and risk a heated exchange? Can we work as a team on how we could have handled that last argument better? Are there daily tasks that are a source of irritation that we are trying to ignore? How long can we ignore those daily irritations before they build into a major explosion in the relationship that is way harder to work through?

This episode explores some of these questions and more.

Episode 102: Revisiting Arguments in Relationships

Using arguments for understanding rather than winning

As a couple, the health of our argument style can be far more important to the overall success of our relationship than what we fight about or how often.

In healthy relationships, there are certain rules, parameters and boundaries that are not crossed due to the mutual respect we carry for one another and the relationship overall. The argument backdrop isn't about winning at all costs, proving the rightness of my argument, maintaining the one-up position but rather about using this experience to know more about one another a willingness to listen, hear our partners side with openness and a mutual intention to find middle ground.

This episode continues to explore some of what works and what doesn't in relationships when it comes to disagreements. 

Episode 03: Tips for Productive Disagreements

Having healthy fight form reduces stress and preserves relationships long term.

Arguments, fights and disagreements are a part of life. When we are in stimulating, challenging environments and relationships different points of view arise.

Through knowing how to disagree and not getting stuck on what we are disagreeing about we can emerge from this moments renewed, rather than frustrated and toxic.

Learning how to have more productive disputes is so valuable to continued forward momentum in relationships and business.