Episode 152: Seeing Both Sides of Relationship Patterns - Part III

The unforeseen consequences of emotional cutoff

This episode focuses on an aspect of relating patterns known as Emotional Cutoff. When we choose or feel forced to cut someone out of our lives. There are times to go low or no contact of course, and with certain more low conscious types, it’s probably important.

However, when we cut someone out of our lives or refuse any contact it might reduce the immediate sense of anxiousness but add to long term friction. We may not talk to someone for months and then reunite without addressing the original issue, or we may geographically distance but still find that we mentally obsess over the person even though we don't see or speak with them directly.

This episode explores a number of elements and potential consequences of emotional cutoff.

Episode 147: Toxic Relating and Dynamics of Polarity

The impact of extreme relating polarities on our wellbeing

One indicator that you may need to access the kind of relationship you are in is seemingly radical relating swings. The relationship brings you both the highest highs and lowest lows. How can someone treat me so well one moment and so horribly the next?

When they are good and showering us with attention it feels amazing and then when they withdraw and freeze us out it feels like such a lonely and desolate place.

How can one person be so charming and then so hateful? The confusion that ensues can engulf us and keep our attention distracted from the fact that they say all the right things and do none of them!

This episode looks at the emotional roller coaster effect of these radical swings in relating and their potential impact on our well being.

Episode 105: Red Flags Early in Dating

Early warnings signs for potentially abusive relationships

The early stages of dating can be an amazing time full of optimism and hope for the future! Finding a partner that enriches our life is the ideal!

However, for some, they can find that what began so amazingly has turned into a nightmare where they are left wondering how did we get here and when will the person I first fell in love with be returning?

Abusive dynamics tend not to show themselves early, in fact, on the surface, everything can look amazing.

However, there are certain red flags that might help you to see that this person may actually be toxic for you and therefore allowing you to avoid a really painful relationship. 

This episode looks at some of the warning signs that may suggest that you slow things down, dig deeper, seek advice or move on. 

Episode 101: Recovery After a Toxic Relationship

Challenges that may come up during the recovery journey

It would appear to be logical that after we leave a toxic relationship it instantly gets better and only improves from there. Unfortunately, when it comes to the road of recovery it can actually be an extreme roller coaster with a lot of mixed emotions. It is sometimes harder to recover from a toxic breakup than it is from a reasonably healthy relationship breakup.

It is so important to have a good support group around yourself as you begin to rebuild. It is also important to move at your own rate and speed. Avoid comparing your recovery journey to another as you are your own unique person. Others that are with us on the recovery journey are there for inspiration and support, not comparison.

This episode looks at some of the potentially unexpected things that can present on the road back to having our own lives on our own terms. If you are on the recovery road or supporting someone who is, I hope this helps in some way. You have my absolute admiration and respect! 

Episode 98: Safeguarding Self in a Toxic Relationship

Advice for navigating unhealthy realtionships

Whilst there are some red flags that exist in the early stages of relationships, unfortunately it can take some time before we really become aware that the relationship we are in is really unhealthy.

Whilst this episode is by no means meant to be taken as specific advice as everyone's challenging situation will consist of elements of its own uniqueness, there are however some general points of consideration that may help make a difficult situation a bit easier to navigate. 

I hope this episode helps those in challenging situations and those who are supporting loved ones through challenging situations. It is also important to understand what protections under the law you have for your particular geographic region and what support groups are available to you.

Episode 97: Supporting People who are in Toxic Relationships

Effectively offering support to those in abusive relationships

Given that abusive dynamics are unfortunately so common, there is every possibility that someone we love could find themselves in an abusive romantic relationship where both their physical and mental wellbeing is being damaged.

Effective support through this period requires some understanding otherwise we can unintentionally be playing into the hands of the abuser. The person who is experiencing threat, coercive control, domination and denial of their basic human rights needs to be met with full support and compassion.

However, we can be swept away in our own anxiety about their situation and rush in with advice-giving that may actually leave them feeling worse. This episode looks at some of what we can do to be of effective support to those we love.

Episode 94: Children Witnessing Toxic Relationships

How exposure to abusive relationships impacts children’s present & future wellbeing

It can unfortunately sometimes be easier to think that if something didn't happen, or isn't happening to my kids directly, they won't be that affected! Witnessing toxic, abusive exchanges between one's parents on a consistent basis can impact children not just at the felt level, but can influence attitudes and beliefs about what an intimate relationship consists of. I may come away thinking that because people love me they get to hurt me! 

When we see a romantic relationship that is heavily tipped in the favour of one person then it can be very confusing. Especially when this obvious one-sided dynamic is consistently denied!

When supporting children to grow into adults that are capable of having happy, healthy, mutually respectful and genuinely loving relationships, what can we do to help? 

Staying open to conversation with our children and noticing what beliefs are held, supportive or otherwise is vital!