Episode 113: Power Dynamics In Relationship Part II

Understanding emotional drivers & finding solutions together

There are key areas in which couples can find themselves in a struggle for control. Areas such as who gets to decide, leader/ follower dynamics in the relationship and what we do with our money.

Even the healthiest couples can get into power struggles in these areas and have to work through challenging conversations to work out what will work best for them going forward.  What can make these discussions even harder is being too emotionally overloaded.

Before having these discussions do I need to be clear on what is driving me here. Are my reactions and anger only driven by the present, or am I bringing in unresolved residue from past relationships?

How can I get clear on what my emotional drivers are so that we can have the best chance to reach a workable solution together. How can I help myself so as to help us?

Episode 112: Power Dynamics In Relationship Part I

How to work through power struggles

It is unavoidable that even in the healthiest of relationships there will be from time to time minor or significant power struggles. How we navigate these going forward can be the difference between staying together and breaking apart.

This episode looks at some of the key areas that couples tend to struggle for control over and what can be red flags that there are areas that may need updating. How do we navigate through our money, time and intimacy decisions as a couple, and how might we look to improve and/or safeguard these areas of relationships?

I hope this episode helps to provide some effective discussion points to engage in with your partner, so as to promote ongoing relationship vitality.

Episode 96: Negative Effects of Power Over Parenting

Overcoming conflicted feelings about success

Depending on what type of Power Dynamic we experienced growing up, certain consequences can arise. If we learned that it was ok to share around the power and control depending perhaps on who was best equipped in the moment to direct, then we might find ourselves very comfortable to move between moments of leading and following.

However, if we experienced fixed positions relative to power and control where one person was always in the "superior position" regardless of competence, expertise or appropriateness then we can come away with mixed messages and feelings about success.

One way in which this can play out is with a mixed set of responses to success. If as a child every time you succeeded, took an authentic position or stood out you were in some way cut down or set back, then you can experience increases in anxiety when you succeed.

What we experienced as a child can create a double bind going forward where we crave success and yet are fearful of it at the same time. This episode explores some of that dynamic and what we can begin to do about it.

Episode 73: Recognising Power Plays

What kind of power dynamic am I in right now? 

The ability to become aware of what type of power game others have got you in can be vital to avoid being exploited! 

Power With means that we are working to achieve our goals and desires but not at the expense of others. People playing Power Over however are doing things very differently and are counting on the fact that you won't recognise what they are doing.

Backhanded insults, withholding important information, consistent misunderstandings at your expense are all part of the game for those looking to only advance themselves. 

Learning not to buy into their clever justifications but rather look at the consistent trail of behaviour can really assist you in understanding exactly what you are up against and how to best respond.