Episode 135: How To Deal With Family Guilt

Standing up for self while remaining connected

In family systems that are too enmeshed any stand one makes for self even if it is perfectly reasonable can trigger anxiety in the family system. 

One way in which you can be pushed back into the fold, so to speak, is to be guilted back into behaving like everyone else again. What do you mean you're not coming to dinner? Everyone else will be there! Mom will be so disappointed! Don't you think about others?

Learning how to make a stand for self in a healthy mature way, whilst remaining connected is one of the most vital skills we can develop. Learning the difference between the things we are genuinely guilty over compared to triggered guilt that serves the family enmeshment is essential for self-clarity.

Episode 74: Enjoying Success Without The Guilt

Embracing our success

Many of us learned a healthy work ethic from our family system. However, what many of us didn't learn was a healthy reward ethic!

Entrepreneurs, businesses owners and anyone working towards success and financial reward, may find that when they get there they are filled with guilt about taking advantage of what they have achieved.

What will my family think? What will my staff think?

Part of adult maturity is being able to see objectively both the strengths and weaknesses of the family system, tribe that we grew up in. Going forward we want to be the kind of people who can model healthy giving without draining ourselves and healthy receiving which isn't followed by a guilt, lack of deserving attack!

When we learn to functionally embrace our success and what comes with it, we give others permission to do the same.

I hope you find the episode helpful!