Standing up for self while remaining connected
In family systems that are too enmeshed any stand one makes for self even if it is perfectly reasonable can trigger anxiety in the family system.
One way in which you can be pushed back into the fold, so to speak, is to be guilted back into behaving like everyone else again. What do you mean you're not coming to dinner? Everyone else will be there! Mom will be so disappointed! Don't you think about others?
Learning how to make a stand for self in a healthy mature way, whilst remaining connected is one of the most vital skills we can develop. Learning the difference between the things we are genuinely guilty over compared to triggered guilt that serves the family enmeshment is essential for self-clarity.
