Understanding the role of entitlement in the abuser’s mindset
Abusive behaviour and mindset in Intimate Relationships is highly complex and certainly not always well understood! The more insight and clarity we have the more effective our interventions can become.
When it comes to romantic relationships, abuse dynamics stem from beliefs, attitudes and thinking patterns that are often underpinned with a sense of justification and entitlement:
‘If you don't submit to my power and control then I am entitled to utilise whatever tactics I deem necessary to make that happen.’
‘No matter what is going on as an abuser, my needs getting met come first! You need to focus on me whenever I want you to focus on me. What you want and need are not as important as what I want and need!’
‘I am entitled to forgiveness, I am entitled to control how you think and behave!’
Of course, the list goes on!
There are a number of foundational elements that make up the abuser mindset and in this episode, we look at the element of entitlement. As I have mentioned before there are a number of exceptional resources in this area. I certainly recommend a look at the work of people like Lundy Bancroft, George Simon, Jerry Wise, Ann Jones and Susan Schechter and there are many more. All these experts bring elements and expertise to areas that help us all move into better relating.
