Episode 143: Emotional Affairs and Relationship Neglect

Prioritising sharing with our partner to avoid threatening the relationship

When we first get into a relationship the conversational exchanges can be highly invigorating, fascinating and rewarding! Over time, however, they can become less so, if we don't continue to make them a priority.

We can benefit from meaningful exchanges with multiple others so that the burden of our emotional well being is not placed squarely in the hands of our partner. However, if we begin to find that conversations of significance are progressively being had with a person or persons other than our partner, then this could be a red flag.

Am I continuing to make time to share with my partner things that are significant to me and continuing to invite them to share with me? So many distractions, social media and vigorous workplace exchange can over time make me neglectful of remaining present to my relationship. This episode looks at this topic and what we can do to avoid accidentally putting our relationship under threat.

Episode 85: Avoiding Drama Triangles

Understanding and responding to drama triangles

There are a number of ways in which humans behave when drama, anxiety and intensity increase between themselves and another. Some responses are helpful and lead to resolution. Other methods actually make matters worse.

One way in which anxiety and friction are managed between two people is to pull in a third party to vent and complain to. There are helpful versions of this and unhelpful versions.

This episode looks at the triangle dynamics that can form as a response to increased stress and what are the ways in which this process known as triangulation can play out. Any complex system, be that family, a business or our romantic relationship is at some point going to hit a point of challenge so it is useful to know what can happen as a result.

Episode 84: Looking At Affairs Part III

What to do when faced with the reality of an affair

In this final episode of looking at affairs, we look at what to do if we are faced with the reality of unfaithfulness.

What are some of the better ways in which to support ourselves through such a challenging time?

Do you stay or do you go? Are there larger considerations?

How I respond now will either help my future moving forward or adversely affect my future relationship health. How can I best support myself? How specifically do I start to look for the support I need to heal, resolve and move forward?

This episode may also be of help to those looking to be of effective support to a loved one who is going through dealing with an affair.

Episode 83: Looking At Affairs Part II

Red flags to look out for & how to deal with an affair

Continuing on from part 1 with the idea that monogamy can no longer be safely assumed in the modern relationship arena, what can we do?

How can we continue to have honest and open discussions around the strong possibility that at some point temptation will present? Denial and refusal to have the challenging conversations can leave us very vulnerable indeed.

In this episode, we explore possible red flags that our partner could be engaging in an affair. What can we watch out for?

How do we then begin to approach the situation? Are we even ready to approach the situation and risk that the truth might be very confronting indeed? Sometimes if we confide in friends or family, their good intentions but their own baggage around infidelity can force us to take action before we are ready.

Episode 82: Looking At Affairs Part I

Challenging assumptions about why people are unfaithful

The way the modern relational landscape is moving it has never been more important than now to begin to examine some of our outdated assumptions about why people are unfaithful.

As long as there has been committed relationships there have been affairs. We need to be able to accept that they happen and begin to work out better ways to approach and deal with them when they do.

The idea that "It will never happen to me!" is a very high risk idea to hold. How can we have more open and honest conversations with our partner regarding the inevitable times that we may find ourselves attracted and fascinated by another? Refusing to look at the things that can threaten our idea of a stable relationship isn't a safe way to go.

If we understand that things can and do change despite our best intentions then we can better deal with and face reality.