Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.

Episode 62: The Emotionally Mature Business

Key elements of an emotionally mature workplace

It can be terrible to work in a dysfunctional business. A business can be like a family system. Some families are calmer, more productive and supportive than others. The same applies for businesses.

This episode explores some of the key elements that present when we find ourselves in an emotionally mature workplace. The more emotionally mature a work/business environment is, the more productive and profitable it is likely to be, with less problems to deal with.

Episode 61: Uncovering Covert Narcissism

Learn to identify covert narcissists and take back control

Most people have some familiarity with more overt narcissistic behaviour. Covert narcissism however can be so much harder to spot and yet just as damaging to those on the receiving end.

Covert narcissism can slip under the radar and even though you feel something isn't right, it is a struggle to identify the toxic behaviour. This toxic behaviour can be so subtle and sophisticated.

Having further insight into what to look out for can really help you begin to take some level of control back in the dynamics and hold your space in a healthy way.

Dealing with any type of Narcissistic wound can be challenging, so education is a great resource.

Episode 60: Narcissist in the Family

How to deal with Narcissistic relatives

It can be so challenging and confronting to have to deal continually with someone with Narcissistic wounding because they happen to be in our family! Each family system is different, however there are some steps to take to help with managing yourself through what can be an extremely challenging dynamic.

We need to understand the strategies employed by our particular narcissistic and which of those strategies we are most reactive to.

Our best opportunity is to not look to change the narcissist but rather to change our reactions in relation to dealing with them. I truly hope this episode helps you to form an approach to better achieve that.

I would also like to acknowledge the work of Relationship expert Jerry Wise whose ideas helped  contribute to this episode and Feedspot for nominating the Sean Healy "Tools" and Emergence Training as one of the top 15 podcast resources on the net in relation to Narcissism.

Episode 59: Understand How To Follow Before Trying To Lead

Why following is an essential business skill

There is so much talk about developing the skills of good leadership out there. I feel that the skills of being a good follower are massively under valued as a way to advance your professional career.

One of the most consistent complaints I hear from Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and CEOs is that they can't get enough good people to help deliver and support on the business vision.

What are some of the qualities that make up an effective follower? What would be the benefits in developing those skills for myself further?

This episode explores the power of following and how vital to modern business these skills are.

Episode 58: Emotionally Reacting to Others

Managing our less than desirable emotional responses

We all have people in our lives that evoke strong responses in us. There are those people who we love to be around and come away from an exchange with them feeling uplifted and inspired.

However there are also individuals that the moment we get around them we feel reactive negative emotions starting to arise. Perhaps it's their ideas, the way they speak and behave when dealing with others or just their very presence puts us on eggshells.

Episode 58 looks at some focuses for managing those less than desirable responses we may have when dealing with certain people be it in the workplace or in the home. How do we manage ourselves rather than look to manage others in order to produce better connections and more productive relationships going forward? This episode explores some of those ways.

Episode 57: Are You Enough?

Embracing yourself just how you are

When going after our success it is important to know what may be driving and motivating our actions. Limiting beliefs can mean that we build our accomplishments on very shaky ground.

We live in a culture and have experienced family systems that haven't always been able to connect us to our own innate value. If we are driven from a place of feeling we are not enough, our actions are likely to look a lot different from when we are coming from a space of completeness already!

This episode explores the idea that we are enough just as we are and how do we begin to embrace that even more deeply.

Episode 56: Two Key Pressures In Relationship

Reduce resentment, and build desire, passion and connection

Long-term stable relationships are wonderful but they can also trigger old relationship patterns from our Family of Origin in how to manage anxiety and intimacy. Depending on what type of Family system we grew up in we may not have the most workable skill sets on board to make it work effectively long term.

This episode is inspired by the book, Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown who is a family system specialist. 

Through exploring these two potential points of stress covered in this episode that can emerge in the relationship we can reduce resentment and build the desire, passion and connection.

I hope you find value and insight in this episode that helps to support you having amazing relationship going forward!

Episode 55: Red Flags For Possible Narcs and Abusers

Early warning signs to look out for

It can be so valuable to be able to spot potential trouble early on in the form of a Narcissist, Social Psychopath or someone with control issues. These dynamics don't often emerge until they have us hooked in but there are certain early warning signs to look out for.

I personally have had challenges with such people both in my personal and professional life. I would have loved to have known more about some of these dynamics earlier in my life!

I hope this episode is interesting and helpful for you!

Episode 54: The How or When of Self Love

The power of asking ‘when’ questions

Sometimes we ask how to questions when there could be better questions to ask.

When questions can be very powerful and create for us an opportunity to approach a block or goal in a different way.

"How do I learn to love myself more?" A powerful question however different to: "When will I love myself more?" Sometimes asking when will we change is very different to how can we change.

This episode explores why that is the case. Asking when questions can open up whole new  experiences for us in our lives!

Episode 53: Working With Narcs

How to respond to narcissistic behaviour in the workplace

Working with Narcissists can be a bewildering and painful experience. Narcissism is a spectrum and dealing with those that demonstrate consistent adaptive disfunction can really make your work life extremely challenging.

Through understanding a little more about Narcs (Narcissists) and what patterns they often display allows you to form a strategy to respond rather than react. Often not getting hooked into their game, managing your own emotional responses to them and having a sense of humour become really powerful!

Episode 53 offers insights into what to look for and how to best respond when confronted with extreme narcissistic behaviour in the workplace.

Episode 52: Building Self Trust

How to develop informed self trust

Many people think that when they feel they can trust self then they will take a risk. Unfortunately, informed self-trust and self-confidence come from risking first.

True trust comes from knowing that whether it works out in the moment or it doesn't, you can handle it! Once we know that we can manage ourselves through life's challenges then we deepen in self-trust and self-belief. However, this only arises by taking the steps first.

Episode 51: Emotional Fusing In Relationship

Is it Love or just Emotional Fusing that you are experiencing in your relationship?

When we grow up in family systems that didn't foster and support our right to individuality, we learn that love involves unhealthy fusing. (Eg: When mum was unhappy, everyone was unhappy!)

This episode draws from the wonderful work of Dr David Schnarch and in particular his book Passionate Marriage.

The episode goes through some elements of unhealthy emotional fusing dynamics and how it leads to couples feeling alienated from one another.

This episode is designed to point out some of the exchanges to avoid so that we are able to have a truly wonderful and meaningful connection in our relationships, taking our relational experience to a whole other level!

Episode 50: Fostering Intimacy

How intimacy transforms relationships

With so many relationships not going the distance and people in relationship wishing for a more intimate connection with their partner, what is missing?

Many people express a desire to be more intimate and then find that they are unable to sit in the vulnerability that arises as a result. Instead of challenging our partners to be closer, the paradox is we need to examine and understand what it takes for us to be closer.

This episode looks at some of the differences in Self Validated Intimacy vs Other Validated Intimacy and what are the consequences in relationship when we adopt either pathway to attempt to bridge the gap between self and another.

When we can really begin to know who we are, validate that and not be reliant on solely the positive reflection of our partner to feel good about self, relationships can transform!

Episode 49: Adult Children Raised By Narcissists Pt II

Understand the challenges and how to heal

The whole challenge of having been exposed to Narcissistic behaviour through a parent as a child is such a complex area.

Certain coping responses get employed often just to survive especially if the parent is on the extreme end of the spectrum.

As a result, the adult child can have some unique challenges to overcome in order to embrace their own life and have healthy and loving relationships.

When we have been consistently shamed, told we don't measure up, shown little empathy and emotional understanding it can leave us vulnerable to attracting in toxic people into our adult experience.

This episode looks at some of the challenges facing those that grew up in a household affected by Narcissism and what needs to be done to heal from such an experience.

Another challenging episode to hear for some but so important to recover and the reclaiming of self.

Episode 48: Adult Children Raised By Narcissists Part I

Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic parenting

Narcissism is challenging at the best of times to deal with let alone having been raised by a parent on the Narcissism spectrum.

In order to accommodate the narcissistic parent, the child must learn to adapt and mould to what it perceives are the parent's expectations. If not, the consequences can be severe! However part of maintaining a perceived position of superiority for the narcissist is that strategies are employed to see the child never measures up.

This continued message of never being enough can result in challenging consequences later in life. 

Through understanding more of the dynamic and its potential consequences a person who had to endure this upbringing can begin to recover and take control of their lives. 

A possibly challenging episode for some to hear but important for healing!

Episode 47: Identifying Emotional Abuse

Identify toxic patterns in relationships

When we look at abuse in relationships there can be both physical and non-physical. Both are stunningly toxic and damaging!

In this episode, we look at continuing to develop our understanding of the impact of non-physical abuse because it is so pervasive. Emotional abuse can include verbal abuse, but episode 47 looks at the often more subtle abusive patterns that over time erode our self-belief, self-trust and self-esteem. This can leave us feeling unloveable.

When we can identify these toxic patterns, such as the various ways in which our partner can withhold from us to modify our behaviour, we can make changes and set boundaries.

Through identifying emotional abuse patterns we can begin to heal and move towards healthy, joyous, loving connection in relationships.

Trigger Warning: Some people may find some of this episode confronting, please make sure you seek appropriate support.

Episode 46: Facing Shame

Facing & moving through toxic shame

This episode is by audience request. How do we face toxic shame and continue to move forward in our lives. Toxic Shame is where we take the feelings of shame and we collapse it into our identity. I have an uncomfortable feeling of wrongness becomes "I am wrong!"

When we begin to feel that we are wrong or we are driven to avoid this feeling it can really dictate our choices and actions in life. Shame survives by hiding and can pull us away from having the kind of joyful life and relationship experiences that we want and deserve!

I hope you find this episode helpful and offers you extra insight into self-support.

Episode 45: Parenting Awareness

Honouring the authenticity of our child

The parenting journey is so amazing and challenging at the same time and I can't think of a greater self-development course than embarking on the journey of raising a child!

This episode is designed to support parents and further champion children by inviting parents to examine their own childhood experiences. The more aware we are of the reality of what we experienced growing up the more conscious rather than reactive our parenting becomes.

We need to look with honesty and balance at what went on and how it may be biasing our parenting in a way that is not allowing us to honour the authenticity of our child.

It is hard to acknowledge our child's emotions if we didn't get much of that as a child. It is challenging to allow a child to be who they are if we grew up in a family with very strong ideas of expectation of who we should be to gain approval.

The more aware we are as parents of our drivers them more fulfilling, enriching and wonderous our relationships with our children can be!

Episode 44: Moving Towards Functional Adult

Benchmarks in developing our sense of healthy functional self

How do we esteem with greater effectiveness and acknowledge our innate worth?

When we are able to operate from a place of functional adult our relationships improve and deepen. This focus is just as valuable when considering improving business relationships as it is in our personal lives.

Some of our past experiences and conditioning has caused us to lose sight of our inborn value. When we devalue self, we set a precedent for others to do the same.

Functional adulting is something we do and when we understand more about what it involves to embrace this life improves. I hope you find the episode thought provoking!